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To not want to have “his kind” of sex means I’m frigid.
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There were many times where he played into my fear of his addiction being my fault…if we were together more often he wouldn’t have these issues.
There were many years where I just willed myself to be with him because I couldn’t stand the guilt of making his addiction return or worsen.
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Before I start, I want to be very clear as to why I believed these lies.
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He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him.
When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies. Pornography is a lie…it’s a distortion of the truth.
DOWNLOAD “HOPE AFTER PORN” Wanting to set goals for myself or plan out and pursue a dream of mine means I’m too independent. I started realizing that he looked at women in “1D,” so to speak. None of that interested him, so it seemed silly for me to focus on any of that in my own life. My goal was to meet his needs so that he wouldn’t reject or abandon me, which was a core fear for me most of my life. Extensions, blonde highlights, nail salons, low cut shirts, diet plans, lipo, push up bras…the list goes on and on.
I had become so enmeshed into what my husband wanted that my dream actually became for him to fulfill all of his dreams. Well, I’m a chunky, 5’1” brunette who has to shop in the kids department for jeans. I tried to satisfy his gourmet tastes, but now I know that porn creates an insatiable appetite that cannot be satisfied.
They were these beautiful, wish-granting beauties and I was the nagging old hag who wanted to talk about the bank account and his “browsing history.” How could I win this battle?Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating