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I discussed with him the feeling of empathy." A New Jersey woman writes: "My young daughter wrapped a towel around her head and said she wanted to be a terrorist for Halloween — 'like that man down the street.'" The man is a Sikh who wears a turban for religious reasons. " Guide the conversation toward empathy and respect: "How do you think our neighbor would feel if he heard you call him a terrorist? Look critically at how your child defines "normal." Help to expand the definition: "Our neighbor is a Sikh, not a terrorist.

Let's learn about his religion." Create opportunities for children to spend time with and learn about people who are different from themselves. Every year, Halloween becomes a magnet for stereotypes.

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Appealing to shared values can be a way to begin discussions at home or with relatives. Sibling relationships involve long-established habits, shared experiences and expectations.

Try saying, "Our family is too important to let bigotry tear it apart." Or, "Our family always has stood for fairness, and the comments you're making are terribly unfair." Or, simply, "Is this what our family stands for? In crafting a response to bias from a brother or sister, consider your history together.

Your classmate insults something by saying, "That's so gay." And you stand there, in silence, thinking, "What can I say in response to that? Or, frustrated or angry, you walk away without saying anything, thinking later, "I should have said something." People spoke about encounters in stores and restaurants, on streets and in schools.

They spoke about family, friends, classmates and co-workers.

Your brother routinely makes anti-Semitic comments. Your neighbor uses the N-word in casual conversation.

Your co-worker ribs you about your Italian surname, asking if you're in the mafia.

As an adult, though, I advocate respect for others." Appeal to family ties. Arriving for her next visit, she said to her father-in-law, "I know I can't control what you do in your own house.

"I value our relationship so much, and we've always been so close. Your racist 'jokes' are offensive to me, and I will not allow my children to be subjected to them.

Children and adults dress as "psychos" or "bums," perpetuating biased representations of people with mental illness or people who are homeless.

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