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Every year, too many of us commit suicide and too many of us get beat up on the streets. If gay men have learned anything from Toronto's Gay Village serial killer story, it is that occasionally our suffering makes for good sensationalist copy, and that Canadians need to be shown the darkest hues of the anti-gay-violence spectrum before they will begin to talk about the messy and hurtful reality of gay life in Canada. It's another way of saying shut up, stop complaining, we gave you what you want so be a "good gay" now. When you live as the other, you know that whatever bit of happiness you can carve out comes with a cost: your voice. No, Canada, I'm not "shocked" by the possibility that a mad killer figured out how to prey on gay men for years before being detected. That would be akin to being shocked to discover that wolves prey on smaller mammals.And there is no way out of the othering paradigm – you are constantly read as not-alike, but when you dare speak against this reading of your very self, of your body and your brain and your soul, that is also exactly when you are most not-alike. All I have is sadness, and resignation, and knowledge – a knowing fuelled by long memory, buried wounds and the weary, tapped-out look on my friends' faces.

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Police have charged Bruce Mc Arthur with five counts of first-degree murder.

Editor’s Note: These 5 apps were Chloe’s choices in 2015 when this article was first featured, as a follow-up to her 2013 review.

Over the last two years, we’ve seen a few new additions, most notably Find Femmes and Compatible Partners.

So If you’ve tried either of those, leave your experience in the comments! HER is a fresh, ultra flexible app aimed exclusively at lesbian, bisexual, pansexual, and queer women.

HER’s modern hybrid of dating and social networking is a refreshing break from the pressure to hook-up or fuck off that embodies some competitors.

Setting up my HER profile took less than five minutes; I just signed in with Facebook, selected a couple pictures from my various social media feeds and filled out my stats.

In social-work jargon, we are now called "men who have sex with men," a phrase that reduces our lives to a singularity based on sexual practice while at the same time negating an entire culture.

The mainstream gay media, most of which is not owned or operated by actual queer people, attacks us with images of Olympian god-like men, men we can never become. I usually get a variation of the same response: You have gay marriage now, everything is fixed. Do you hear the undertone of resentment in that response?

"That could have been me," gay men say, and mean so very much more.

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