Rules for dating my teenage daugter

She wants to know what he and I are doing when we are out on a date.

We spend one night a weekend with her and allow her to invite a friend.

Mother and boyfriend have decided what is best for the 11 year old.

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The 11 year old daughter, on the threshold of adolescence, may be experiencing fears about losing her mother, knowing how to cope with a stepfather and attempting to interfere with and even destroy the new relationship the mother and boyfriend have in order to maintain the status quo.

From the child's point of view, the status quo feels much safer than the changes represented by the boyfriend.

This comes in the form of allowing the child to come between the adults who have formed a new family partnership together.

There is nothing more unhealthy than for a child to come to believe that he(she) can manipulate the adults.

Regardless of the particular configuration of children and stepparents, everyone involved has to deal with difficult challenges. Net, we hear about those challenges when the wife or husband writes to us complaining that their new spouse seems to love their biological children more than their new spouse. Mail recently posted on "Reader Questions," "I have been divorced from my daughter's father for almost 11 years.

The man I am now dating is the first real boyfriend I have had since my divorce.

The term "Boundary lines" is used by family therapists to describe the fact that parents and children are not the same.

Children are dependent on parents for material and emotional well being.

They are not at the age and level of maturity where they are capable of making sound judgments based on sensible thinking.

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