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I hadn’t been out of the house all day, I work from home and I see no people except in a computer monitor, so human company, any kind really, was necessary.

The restaurant was about to close and we had to go elsewhere or part ways.

Here’s a gender-balance map from a 1890 Census Atlas: Pink is women in excess, the ruddy, brutish reddish-brown is extra men.

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These guys—and as Reifman pointed it out, it’s very nearly always guys (75 percent of Amazon’s workforce is made up of dudes!

)—are making $80K or more a year for their second or third job out of college, and their presence was driving the rents up in Seattle to near New York City numbers.

And that time I showed how I was completely kind of horribly somewhat wrong, and that Manhattan is nothing but an island-nation of nothing but women?

Now it’s time to take a look at the other half of the puzzle: the ratio of single men to single women in the San Francisco Bay Area.

“The only thing that has changed is the increase in men I’d never want to go out on a date with.” She added, “Can’t believe they actually strap on those new employee book bags.” For Reifman, the number of men versus women presents a challenge for guys like him—he can’t seem to get a date or hold the attention of the women he’s courting because, presumably, he’s got so much competition. My brain is very abstract, though, the exact opposite of so many men in tech who have very concrete/literal brains. I constantly felt like I wasn’t seen or valued by them, even though I experienced a lot of them as having a very limited view of the world.” Carla Swiryn, a matchmatcher for Three Day Rule, a start-up that offers curated online dating services in cities like San Francisco, Los Angeles, New York, and Chicago, said that her female clients are often hit with a double whammy: “I often hear women say they either date A-holes or nerds—or if they’re really lucky, both in one,” she said.

But the reality is that all he has to do is have a personality. The exact same scenario has been playing out in San Francisco for the last few years. The biggest thing, the thing that bothered me the most is I felt like my intelligence was greatly devalued,” she wrote. “They feel like they’re dealing with someone who has poor social skills, not a lot of style, and isn’t that attractive, or is decently good-looking, successful, or cool, but by default knows it and acts like it, with a huge ego and selfish mind-set in tow.” One woman, Bridget Arlene, spent three years in Seattle for graduate school, and said that she actually moved out of the city, in part because of the type of available men—most of whom had computer science or engineering degrees and worked for Google, Microsoft, or Amazon.

He rode his bike around town; he had good taste in food and wine; and he lived across the street from where we were meeting.

He was a software engineer or did something in tech (as they all did). I don’t think he asked me a single question about myself.

It doesn’t line up as much on the east side, though, so take that with a grain of salt. Every time I talk about race, just refer to this incredible map that I didn’t make. I know about the West Coast, so I’m going to need your help with my analysis.

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